Christian dating relationship should not be seen as boring because it is not. Though there are restrictions since each Christian youth is expected to remain pure and undefiled until marriage, yet, that doesn’t meant the whole of Christian relationship dating is boring. As a matter of fact it is exciting. Every other thing pretty much holds except the issues of sex.
There is usually a profession that should take place while building a Christian dating relationship. The progression is the aim of this article.
Fantasy Stage
The stage of fantasy is the start of the attraction. Attraction matters. This is like the foundation of the whole process. I do not see a reason why you should date someone you are not attracted to. At the fantasy stage, it is pretty much all about attraction.
• This is the point where “I love you” is adopted by Christian singles. Actually, I do not believe there is love involved at this stage and so the right word that should have been used is “I am in love with the idea of being in love”. The truth is, as much as you think that person is right for you, you have not yet given anything and I do not think you have received anything at this stage to conclude that you LOVE.
As such, emphasis should be basically on FRIENDSHIP and getting to know each other better. It is wise if you refrain from getting beyond friendship.
After you have been with your Christian date for up to 3 months or thereabout and you are sure this is what you want, the relationship can move into an exclusive Christian dating relationship. Now this has to be mutual; it takes both of you to agree to this.
Affirming Stage
This is usually between 6 to 12 months. At this point, based on the agreement of you and your date, you can start moving the relationship to a more real setting. You probably have been seeing each other alone for a while; this will be time to start spending time with family and close friends so that the relationships around your relationship can be vetted as well. This has a way of sustaining your own relationship too.
• This is not even the time to spend time with each other alone always. If you keep spending time alone at this stage, there will be temptations and overflow of emotions which can lead you into flouting the laws of God concerning Christian relationships. The focus should be on a healthy bonding without filthy and impure thoughts such as that of sex. If you think you can spend time alone without that, and then play along.
This is the time you will start seeing CHARACTER in its true display in your partner. Issues will probably come up around this time in Christian dating relationship. As a matter of fact, do everything to bring these issues out so that you can see the worst case scenario and know whether you can really handle it. This is important to the sustainability of your relationship afterwards. Remember, character is not likely to change after marriage. It is therefore better to know now so that you don’t find yourself in shock when eventually you are married.
Engagement Stage
This is the time in Christian relationship dating that couples must have made sure they are going ahead to marriage. At this point, you probably should have seen the worst of your partner and he or she should have seen your worst too. You must have known all family members and friends and formed a bond with them. This is the stage also known as courtship in some parts of the world. This stage should not be unduly prolonged. At this stage couples usually believe they are going to get married anyway and at times, if care if not taken, caution may be thrown out and premarital sex may begin. To therefore avoid such temptation, the engagement stage should not be more than 3 months. This is only a recommendation; all things being equal.
Marriage Stage
This is the point vows are made and the couple of officially and biblically joined by a priest or pastor. The blessings of the Lord come upon the marriage. This the point the man cleaves to his wife and they become one. All things are allowed at this stage, there are no restrictions whatsoever.
Also at this point in the Christian relationship, it will be too late to say you are no longer interested. You should know that the Bible has strong reservations concerning divorce as it is practiced in the world today. So make sure you follow through the stages of Christian relationship dating and if you think you are not in the right relationship, you can always back out before you get to the marriage stage.
The above is only a rough progression. The ultimate progression is the one inspired by God. If you are truly a Christian, you can trust God to guide you and keep you in your Christian relationship dating till you get married.
